By Lynn Scheurell
"Although the wind is very powerful and you can feel its presence, in and of itself it cannot be seen. You know it is there by its effect on others. The great trees, the grasses and waves on the sea bend with its force. If you are aware of your surroundings, you know it is there long before you feel it. So it is with the ineffable." ~ Author Unknown
So, the quote above is one of my favorites... I suppose because, in a way, it sums up the work that I do in a way that can otherwise only be experienced. One of my greatest challenges is to help people understand the power of what I do, because the results are so unique to each person. What I can trust is that each person will receive the information, resources, tools and next best step for them in the process of our work together, because it is all based on who they are, where they are in their life and how they are "wired" from the inside out.
Of the many tools I use in working with clients is Chinese face reading. This is the ancient art and science of understanding another person based on their facial features. Having this information isn't about judging the other person; rather, it's to help gain valuable insight into that person in order to relate more effectively.
To return to the quote, the effects of "ineffable" life experiences are marked on our faces. It is possible to see how much someone has been through by how they wear their face. The Chinese say that until age 24, we are wearing our mother's face, and until age 54, we are growing our own – after that, we deserve to wear our own face.
How is this information important to you? For starters, you can see how someone's reactions really have nothing to do with you. If a person is "wired" to have intense reactions, and if you can see that the best way for them to express it is through loud sound, you know that a slamming door or verbal outburst has nothing to do with you – they're just processing intense emotions in their natural way. Or, conversely, if you know that someone has a high appreciation for aesthetic beauty, you know that they will really appreciate a beautiful vase as a gift (vs. a toaster).
Even more, if everyone had an idea of what to "read" in a face, people would have the insight to be kinder to one other because they would inherently understand the dynamics in each other. We all "read" people all the time – it's part of our human genetic survival coding! – but if we applied even the basic techniques of face reading in our relationships, it's likely that we could increase the quality of our current (and future) relationships. And be a little nicer to ourselves in the morning mirror!
Three Things You Can Do:
1. Go people watching. Notice people's faces as they walk by (NOT that I'm asking you to stalk people!). Just notice how faces are put together…notice how your thoughts mirror what you see. If someone looks a bit "unapproachable" for some reason, consider the possibilities – maybe they've had a tough day or had some hard breaks lately, and really need to see a smile from a total stranger. And if they look happy, friendly and approachable, a smile exchange can be really satisfying for no reason at all!
2. Consider the faces closest to you in your world. Do you notice any common features or elements or expressions? Look for twinkly eyes to measure creativity and flirty-ness with life, a strong chin or rounded forehead to show intuition, full lips to show generosity or strong jawline to indicate the strength of their personal convictions. If you see all kinds of differences, congratulate yourself on attracting a variety of interesting people into your world!
3. Look in the mirror and notice your own face. If you were a stranger, what expression do you see on your own face and how do you think you would interpret what you see? Notice the badges of experience in the form of wrinkles, marks, or scars – depending on where they are, you'll have a clue as to major life experiences. For example, if you see eye wrinkles (commonly called "crow's feet"), you've either been in the sun squinting a lot OR you've enjoyed lots of wonderful laughter. See what others might see when they look at you – and appreciate your soul peeking out.
The art of face reading goes back about 5,000 years – and in my own limited experience in comparison, I've found that reading a face tells me more than listening to the words coming from it. My intention is to inspire you to be more connected to your world by reading the faces within.
Your Personality is Written on Your Face